


Nobody Cares that you're Broken

by Jessi221b



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessi221b/pseuds/Jessi221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an au ficlet where Dean sees what would’ve happened if he didn’t save Cas from his insanity after Cas saved Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody Cares that you're Broken

Castiel sat in the fresh grass, slowly inhaling the fresh, sweet smell of flowers. He grinned, crinkling his eyes, and petting the soft patches of grass and dirt near him.  
“Cas, this isn’t you.”  
“I can assure you this is me, Dean.”  
“Cas, i thought i told you to never change…”  
“I haven’t, i am completely intact and physically unchanged.”  
“You’re not you Cas, please… I need you.”  
Castiel turned his head and stared up into the misty green eyes. Dean gazed longingly into the electric blue eyes below him. They were weary, sad, and profound ; just like Cas.  
“I watch the bees.” Castiel replied with a calm even tone, not the raspy loyal sound that rumbled in Dean’s heart and ears. Not the Cas he was accustomed to. Dean gulped, nervous under the intense stare of Castiel and his unfamiliar temperament, and spoke with a trembling voice.  
“Cas, I um.. the doc said you’re regressing.” Castiel loosened hi shoulders and relaxed his smile.  
“Nonsense dean, i feel that I’m progressing by attending to the simple matters of nature.”  
“You’re not Cas, you’ve had that brain tumor for a month!” Dean’s voice cracked, eyes watering as he tenderly grabbed Castiel’s hands and pulled him off the ground. He didn’t let go, and closed off some of the distance between them as he tilted Castiel’s chin up.  
“Cas, i know you’re in there, please, come back to me!” Dean shed a tear and then another as his lips trembled, then Castiel spoke again wearing a sad thin smile.  
“You can’t save everyone, my friend.” Dean fell to the floor, head resting on his knees, palms wet on his eyes. Dean sobbed silently tugging at the ends of Castiel’s trench-coat, breathing violently. Cas sank down next to dean and pulled him close to his chest. Castiel looked like a mother comforting her child after a bee stung them, but this was an angel watching over his hunter for as long as he could. Castiel rocked them slowly, stroking and kissing Dean’s hair, and sang Enochian lullabies with a voice like thick honey and silk. Dean swung his arms around Castiel’s neck as he cried even more into the crook of it.  
“Cas, d-don’t leave m-m-me, d-don’t make me l-lose you too!”

7 MONTHS LATER

Castiel was sickeningly pale, inching closer to Death by the second. Coughing and shaking Cas reached for Dean’s hand, groaning at the difficulty. Dean edged closer and wrapped both his hands on Castiel’s. Deans tears never went away, always flowing down his face. Then, Cas looked at Dean and knew who he was for the first time in 5 months. His eyes grew large and filled with recognition, love, and trust.  
“Dean.” Cas tightened his grip and smiled, but then he jerked, gasping desperately as choked and scrunched his eyebrows, baring his teeth in pain.  
“Cas? Cas! No no no no no!” Dean pressed his forehead onto Cas’ and looked into those eyes, Cas eyes, his Cas. Dean frantically called for help, voice hoarse from all this turmoil. Dean cupped both of Cas’ cheeks with his hands, whispering lies to his angel.  
“Cas, I’m here, it’s ok Cas, i got you, and I’m never letting go! ” Cas smiled as he used to, controlling himself only for a second, for the effort pained him so much he quaked.  
“You can’t save everyone, my love…” and those were Cas’ last words. Cas looked up at the ceiling in horror, holding tightly to Dean, and exhaled one last time before he slumped on Dean’s chest and stilled. They couldn’t tear dean away from cas, he thrashed and screamed, cursing at whoever he could just to distract him from his biggest loss. The loss of a loyal friend, a lover, a part of him. Dean kicked everyone, fending them off.  
“No, please, I NEED HIM! I’M NOTHING WITHOUT HIM! Please, I have to save him!… like he saved me!” Dean’s tears overflowed, blurring his vision, his tremor increasing as he felt that too familiar ache settle in his heart. A nurse hurried to Dean and sedated him.

"Dean?" The throaty rasp of Cas’ voice awakened Dean.  
“Cas?” Cas stared back at him, sleepy and worried. That was most definitely a living Cas, the Cas he knew. Dean pressed himself on top of Cas, his head propped on his chest. tears still fresh and escaping his eyes.  
“Dean, what happened? What were you dreaming about?” Cas asked as he slowly rose from the bed, but Dean pushed him back down, chuckling. He snuggled closer to Cas and once again cupped his chin.  
“Cas, never leave me, don’t you dare.”  
“Of course Dean, leaving you would devastate me, i would never leave you.” Cas replied now calm and holding Dean close. That night as the nights before, and the nights following, Dean slept soundly with Cas by his side. Because even if you can’t save everyone, you can still be broken with them.


End file.
